LIFE IS FULL OF GREAT OPPORTUNITIES

So many demands, requests, and opportunities, and so little time to do them all. Let’s face it, you can’t do everything. But I enjoy being involved in EVERYTHING!

Even before junior high, when the flood gates to extracurricular activities opened-up at my Catholic school, I was ALL IN.  I played every sport, participated in band, choir, student government, plays, musicals…… I did it all. Every school activity and club that was available to me, I did.. and with gusto. I gave it my all.

This continued in high school, and during my college years, and as a young professional, it transferred to ministry and parish life following a conversion experience in my early 20’s.  Multi-tasking for God I called it or burning the candle at both ends. I thrived on it. Can you gather that I enjoy being active.

SORTING IT ALL OUT

After I got married and had kids, (and dogs) a whole new onslaught of activities, opportunities and demands opened-up. While it took me a couple of years to figure it out, I realized I had to be a bit more judicious about sharing my time, talent and treasure outside the home. It was NOT easy. The judgement. The looks. Outside of that, saying “no” to various opportunities is not my strong suit, mainly because I enjoy being active and do it all.

Feeling over-programmed, I brought it up one day when meeting with my spiritual director.  I told him I was DOING too much, and I wasn’t sure which things God really wanted me to be doing. They were all good things that I was involved in.  His advice: He told me to write down everything I was currently doing and bring it to our next meeting which I did. A month later, after he looked at my list, he began to laugh. He’s said, “you’re right, you’re doing WAY too much.” He said, “Now get rid of ¾ of this list.” I was like, “No Way!” Then he said some of the most profound words I think my ears have ever heard. He said, “Brigid, a ‘no’ to one thing, is a ‘yes’ to something else.” I had never thought of it that way. He asked, “When you say ‘no’ to x, y, or z on this list, what are you saying ‘yes’ to?” That got me thinking. He even went so far as to say, a “no” to one thing is a way of saying “yes” to God. He asked me again, “Is God calling you to do everything on the list, or just a couple of things?” Good question!

WHAT IS GOD REALLY CALLING ME TO?

Considering that I had three small children at the time and a husband who did a lot traveling for work. I had to take a honest look at how I was spending me time and what God was actually calling me to. After much prayer and reflection, I discerned that the only thing God was really calling me to was a relationship with Him (the big guy), and to love my husband and kids and to get myself and them to heaven. That’s it. Not a boatload of ministries outside my domestic church. What I found was that by saying “no” to x, y, and z ministry, I was able to say “yes” to regular prayer; more family time; more family prayer; actual rest on Sunday and overall self-care, which every busy parent and human being on the planet needs.

My activity level has ebbed and flowed over time. In recent years, I noticed it had crept back up to seemingly unmanageable levels. And I could hear my spiritual director’s words ringing in my head, “A ‘no’ is a ‘yes’ to something else. And by saying ‘no’ what am I actually saying ‘yes’ to? I scaled back again. It was uncomfortable to say, ‘no’ at first to the volunteer opportunities at school, or possible clients, or to do scheduling gymnastics in order to slot in a particular guest on Catholic Radio where I work. Of course, this all requires discernment into what God is actually calling you to do given your state in life (married, single, priest or religious life) and depending on the time and season of that state in life. To help aid myself in saying ‘yes’ to God, I came up with a list of things I would say ‘no’ to, in order to say ‘yes’ to God more and to His specific calling to me given my state in life, and various gifts and talents.

HERE’S MY TOP 10 LIST OF THINGS I’M SAYING ‘NO’ TO IN 2019.

• Unrealistic expectations from others or myself.
• Leisure activities that I don’t absolutely love.
• Negative people.
• Requests from my kids that they can perform for themselves.
• Judgement from others. (Who cares? God’s the only one who matters anyway, LOL!)
• Working weekends/ Work opportunities that don’t fit well with family life.
• Idle social media surfing.
• Bending over backwards to meet the needs of someone else’s lack of planning.
• Interruptions on couple time or family life.
• Anything that takes me away from my prayer time, and gym time.

There you have it. Some of these might sound selfish, (at least they do to me, in a way.) But I’ve realized in order to be generous to God’s call, I need to be very prudent and focused on what that is, and how to implement it. The bad guy is constantly knocking at our door with to distract us with the wrong things, even if they appear to be something good.

Leave a comment and let me know what things you are saying “no” to this year so that you can say “yes” to God.