As the holidays are upon us, this topic caught my ear when I was working out the other day. The radio show is called More 2 Life, featuring psychologist Dr. Greg Popcak and his wife Lisa. The topic, “You’re not the Boss of Me” covers a lot of territory. The premise of this segment was to respond to callers who deal with pushy, bossy people and the Popcak’s offered ways to set respectful limits on bossy people. Just in time for all the holiday gatherings!! Yeah!!!
Do you have a bossy person in your life? Well, if you don’t please share your secret with me!! LOL!! I could recount plenty of bossy people in my life whether it be family, work, church groups, or among friends. There is always this ONE person who has to have things THEIR WAY. Ha Ha, Okay, I admit, I can be one of those sometimes. (Though, I like to categorize myself as a recovering bossy person.)
Here are a couple of reasons why people are bossy.
- it’s their personality type or tendency
- life circumstances
- they must stick up for themselves to be heard
- control freak (LOL)
What if YOU are the bossy person. What should you do?
- Recognize this in yourself. Many who are bossy don’t even realize they are acting this way. And seek ways to change the way you interact with people to accomplish mutual goals.
No matter the reason for the person’s bossy way, or if you are the bossy person, you need not succumb to the whims and will of the bossy person, or if you’re the bossy person, force your will on others. There is a respectful way to deal with bossy people, or to NOT be an obnoxious bossy person yourself.
Some of the scenarios offered on the radio program while serious problems for the individual, were very entertaining. While the situations were unique, there are some good take away strategies you could glean to apply to your own situations which may prove helpful in navigating bossy people, especially family members or co-workers during the holiday season.
Here’s a quick preview of some of the callers’ bossy person situations.
- Adult child being berated for weight problem by both father and father-in-law in front of whole gang at family gathering. (This was NOT an intervention, but a pile up.)
- Happily married couple for 30+ years, but one spouse becomes very bossy when it comes to riding in the car, critiquing driving.
- Mother of 11 kids, offers ways to respond to comments from total & bossy strangers about her choice to home school, and large family.
- Rosary Leader Dictator forces rosary prayer group to do this his way or the highway.
The take away I gleaned from all these situations, (except for the crazy, rosary dictator–never negotiate/ argue with crazy-according to Greg Popcak, Ha Ha! Good advice.), is communication, communication, communication. Meaning, you address the person who is trying to be bossy and set boundaries or guidelines. Easier said than done. The goal is to heal relationships if they have been hurt, and to have good or improved relationships moving forward. Especially if they are co-workers, or family members who are a big part of your life, and there are unavoidable situations.
If you haven’t clicked the above link already. Listen to the podcast here for some great tips from the experts. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!!