Who has the time? I used to ask this question all the time!!

About a year ago, I found myself completely stressed out and doing WAY too many things, yet, at the same time I felt I was NOT doing enough. I wondered how this was possible. While this had been going on for years prior, I finally decided something had to change.

While I’m an eternal optimist with a can do spirit, (which got me into the mess in the first place) I now realize I was simply taking on too many things simultaneously. Looking back, I realize that running a business, supporting a family with a traveling husband, and working as a freelance writer for two active clients along with caring for three school age children and two active Labrador retrievers, well, it was too much! I concluded I was saying ‘yes’ to too many of the wrong things, and then being stuck saying “no” to things that I really wanted to have time for. Things that God was really calling me to.

My husband Tom and I attended a Marriage On Tap series where speaker, JoDee Curtis, a human capital consultant, offered doable, time-management strategies and work life balance. In addition to her talk being rather hysterical, a light bulb went on for me.

Even though I did check off a lot of things on my “to-do” list during any given day, the presentation made me wonder if I was doing the right things with my time. My heart said “no”, that I wasn’t.

Curtis suggests people replace their “to do” list with a “to be” list. The focus is not about checking things off or getting things done, but deciding who you wanted “to be,” based on goals for marriage, family, faith life, community service and self.

Curtis encourages people to consider what they are good at and put those strengths to work when managing their time. So here’s what I learned.

Three Categories of Time Management

Divide time management into three main categories:

• Finding your “why” and setting a goal;
• Creating positive habits and finding your will, and
• Moving forward and taking action, finding the way.

If a person doesn’t have a clear goal of who he wants to be, he or she can’t become that person.

I wanted to spend more time with God,  my family and friends, but couldn’t seem to put that goal into action. Curtis said that many get ahead of themselves and they concentrate on the “to do” or the “will do” of positive habits without defining the “why” of who they want “to be.”

For instance, years ago, Curtis decided she wanted to run a marathon. But to make it happen, she had to set out an actual plan on how to accomplish it. First, she had to find a marathon and register for it, which made her goal real, concrete and involved a financial investment. Then, she told others about her goal, and found a running partner who also was training for a marathon. That gave her accountability.

Create Clear Goal, Initiate Positive Habits

Have a daily goal as to how you are going accomplish the journey to the big goal. You must keep your focus on the goal.

Focus on natural talents or strengths, and use them to reach goals.

In order to get to our goal, we have to look at our habits, and we can’t keep doing the same thing if we are looking to change something. Habits can be good or bad, but our habits need to be matched up with accomplishing our goals.

Lasting, effective habits have three important components– knowledge, skill and desire.

The journey to reaching our goals involves not only looking at what is working, but looking at what is not working.

Why People Procrastinate

Surprise, surprise, the number one time waster is procrastination. This was a big one for me. I easily noticed when my kids procrastinated on homework or chores, but I didn’t notice as much when I did it because I’m very on top of my professional work which requires advanced planning, and deadlines that cannot be missed. But there were other areas where I procrastinated, the unpleasant things, like LAUNDRY!!

Then I realized the obvious WHY I procrastinated? People procrastinate because they think a task is unpleasant or overwhelming. Sometimes it fear the unknown; fear failure; fear change; seek perfectionism; have too many other options; or think they still have time. I could check many boxes in the above list of WHY people procrastinate. So I looked at what I wanted to accomplish, and what the obstacle actually was, and then tackled it. That helped me tremendously.

When things are not working, Curtis advised it’s also important to assess “external realities.” They can include: unrealistic workloads; health problems; personal transitions; and disruptive environments. I had unrealistic workloads, and disruptive environments which were holding me back.

Roadblocks to setting priorities can include indecision and cloudy thinking. Roadblocks can be overcome.

By setting clear goals and creating healthy habits you find the key to success. Create short and long term goals as you inch toward the finish line says Curtis. Reward yourself for small gains to keep you motivated to reach your long terms goals. Focus on small gains, and over time, those small steps add up to big progress.

Curtis says it only takes 30 days to create new habits. Stick too it, and before you know it, you will have time for the things that really matter.

I really looked at these suggestions Curtis made in her presentation and took them to heart. One year later, after ditching a lot of extra activities, I’m 10 times happier, and 10 times more productive. AND I have time for the things that really matter!!

I realized God really is only calling me to do a few things, and to do those well! So the three things I really spend time & effort on now are prayer, couple time with my husband; and passing on the faith to my children. That’s it!! And that’s enough!! So the rest is GONE!!! (Okay, well sort of. I continue to freelance write for my local diocesan newspaper, and cover the statehouse for the Indiana Catholic Conference, and also actively blog now–these are my efforts to fulfill my baptismal call go ‘Go Make Disciples’.) I have found that now with those things in order, I have more time for other hobbies and friendships!

But now my best friend, besides Jesus, is that wonderful little word “No”. I use it often, and I have no guilt either because in the end, when I reach the pearly gates, I’d like to hear the words “well done my good and faithful servant”, not a big Buzzer noise followed by a voice that says, “we’ll you did EVERYTHING except what I called you to do.”

What are your big time wasters? Do you procrastinate? What obstacles do you want to overcome? What do you want more time to do? How is God calling you to be a steward of your time?

I’d love to hear your comments, trials, victories.

Blessings,

Brigid